[Verse 1:]
Found some work that sounds a little scary
Embalming all the bodies at the county mortuary
My love station is one of masturbation
It's the price you gotta pay with a creepy occupation
Out with a lady and she asks me what job I do
It never fails that once I tell her the date is through
Potential coitus, life cut short is
Lyin' on the slab in a state of rigor mortis
She's a goner, brought her in this mornin’
They found her yesterday in the alley ‘round the corner
Pull back the sheet and I stare deeply into her eyes
She almost looks so alive
[Chorus:]
My new girlfriend rest in peace
Necrophilia release
All I need's some Vaseline
She won’t care cuz she's deceased, yeah, yeah!
[Verse 2:]
Don't know why, but I just kind of lose it
When I see her pale skin and smell embalming fluid
This is wrong, I feel so ashamed
But the tag on her toe says, "Doe comma Jane"
No relatives to come and slap me with lawsuit threats
I'll love ya baby in death
[Chorus:]
My new girlfriend rest in peace
Necrophilia release
KY Jelly’s all I need
She don’t mind cuz she's deceased, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Break:]
Who knew it's too good to be true
A girl who never judges you
Someone who never says to you
"I've got a headache, ache, ache"
[Verse 3:]
I donated her body to science
That's what I told the cops so I wouldn't lose my license
But I got her back in the cold locker
This type of woman just-a knocks me off my rocker
But it’s time I found another compliant piece of ass
Cuz this one's not gonna last... she's turnin' real fast
[Chorus:]
My new girlfriend rest in peace
Necrophilia release
All I need's some Vaseline
She don’t care cuz she's deceased, yeah, yeah!
My new girlfriend rest in peace
Necrophilia release
Trade her in when she turns green
She won’t mind yeah she's deceased, yeah, yeah!
* Song Copyright Tom Petty... er, um, I mean, Red Hot Chilipeppers, parody lyrics copyright Eric Tomme 2006